BDSM and Social/Mass Media: Effects on Community, Part I

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Late Stage Capitalism, Neoliberalism, and Ass Beating

 What a strange combination!

As part of my Seraph path, I am reading a couple of heavy, academic works on BDSM as the last two of the books I was directed to read.  This one, Techniques of Pleasure:  BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality by Dr. Margot Weiss of Wesleyan University, is an amazing look into the world of BDSM in many ways.  Dr. Weiss goes down many different paths in this text, as it is an outgrowth of her doctoral dissertation at Duke University.  In this blog, I am going to examine of her areas of study:  the intersection of late stage capitalism, Neoliberal thinking, and various aspects of BDSM in the San Francisco scene of the early 2000s.

Weiss gained access to the BDSM community in San Francisco by actually having to look for the kinky people.  Today if one were interested in finding a BDSM group, one simply gets on Google or Fetlife and explores to their heart's content.  In the early 00's, as the Internet was a thing but not yet the thing, it was not quite possible to use the fairly early Web to find the ministers.    So by using an arcane tome called "The White Pages," and some contacts she had made, she was able to get involved with various BDSM groups in the area.

The interesting thing here is that what Weiss describes in 2002 is literally what the BDSM community looks like today:  mostly white, middle aged, middle to upper middle class mostly, and comprised of a lot of professional people that have found a home in a marginalized group that is largely antithetical to their vanilla, professional type life.  She ties conceptions of neoliberalism to this group, and states that the creation and presentation of self in BDSM groups is tied very closely to late stage capitalism and the formulation of status via what we term conspicuous consumption, or the creation of wealth to flaunt it.  

As she says:

SM communities are not oppositional to, but rather complicit with, transformations in capitalism, particularly the consolidation of what is variously called late, flexible, informational, or advanced capitalism. Although different scholars emphasize different aspects of this shift, late capitalism is characterized by flexibility, new relations between production and consumption, a shift from Fordist to post-Fordist production, and the rise of new technologies and informatics.  (Kindle Location 270-273).

Neoliberalism is largely seen as a meeting point between desires to free and empower people and the use of classical liberal ideas of free markets,  reduced (but not removed) stress on safety net ideology, and a push for people to self-actualize in order to gain the greatest freedoms.  It is really the thought process behind the Bill Clinton "Third Way" of the 1990s.  With these ideas came the concept that status is gained not through manual labor and finished products (which Marxism championed), but rather through the purchase of commodities.  By giving people increased ability to make a comfortable living, they would be able to enter this world more fully and so be a ensconced member of society.

Weiss's argument here is that the world of BDSM practice is a wellspring of neoliberal, capitalistic thinking.  To be "successful" in a BDSM community, one goes to purchase a dizzying array of beaters, paddles, devices, outfits, accessories, and so on.  These items are not necessarily expensive, but many can get to the $100+ range.  For example, I have a lovely black and red shot loaded, hard spanker that was custom made for me.  It would normally cost $95, but as I'm a "repeat customer" and the designer had made me wait a long time due to issues on his end, he gave it to me for $65.

This kind of conspicuous consumption would appear to be madness to a person who is barely making ends meet, but for me, a person who is upper middle class, with little in the way of necessities I must pay, why wouldn't I pay $65, or even the originally agreed upon $95, for such a lovely toy?  Showing it to people instantly gives me a certain degree of status, much more than if I were walking around with a $20 crop I got in the bargain bin from a dealer at a BDSM expo.  My actual ability to perform a scene is often secondary to the fact I can walk around with such toys, or open my toy bag and show a potential scene partner a lovely set of toys to work with.

By the way, I am a lightweight in this -- people I know at the club have literally thousands of dollars of toys, far more than my $600 or so investment in my BDSM lifestyle.  A few Tops I know come into the club with a full suitcase, containing multiple examples of every toy one could imagine.

There is nothing to say that anyone needs to spend this amount of money to be seen as an accomplished member of the community.  Indeed, my club has offered a class in "How to create a $30 toybag" by going to the local dollar store and buying a set of items to beat people with.  However, I can attest that a person looking for a scene is going to give the Top with the thousands of dollars of various toys far more status than some nice, probably more than adequate top who pulls out some wooden and plastic spoons and gadgets they purchased at Dollar Tree and Big Lots.  

What Weiss found in these early 2000s BDSM communities is that the most successful people were the ones that could afford the most, so the community fits well into the neoliberal world of consumption and status.  However, quite interestingly, the members of this community also were able to take on the status of deviants by being members of a marginalized community.  Thus, white, middle class and above professionals could be the objects of mistrust, hatred, and marginalization, "just like other groups."  So even though their relative levels of power, status and wealth were very high, they could self-construct themselves as "deviant, disliked' people.  It was all very interesting.

As I live in a large city (Los Angeles) and it is nearly 20 years past when Weiss was doing her ethnographic study, I can't say things are exactly the same.  As I say above, I can still see a good deal of this conspicuous consumption going on, but we have had a good number of people of color in our club over the years (indeed, two of our board members have been people of color), and everyone is welcomed regardless of what level of status and wealth they portray.  

Also, we have a very good collection of under 35s (what is called in BDSM parlance "The Next Generation") who do have a more "Bernie Sanders" approach to their BDSM lifestyle: less on the external showing off and more on the practice side and community.  But still, even among them I can see some of this glamorization of commodities and status via items that is part and parcel of Weiss' "late stage capitalism."  We shall see where this goes, it is an interesting time!

Much more will come out of this book, I'm only 7% done with it!  But this really struck a chord with me sociologically, and I wanted to get some of it down now.

Kinks, Fetishes and Paraphilias

In the BDSM community, the terms "kink" and "fetish" are often used interchangeably, but in reality these are two somewhat different ideas.  This blog will go over the basic ideas of each one and show where there is both convergence and difference.

Let's start with one everyone likes so much in the lifestyle, kinks.  A "kink" is defined as a "non-normative sexual behavior that is done to accentuate sexual behavior."  A kink is usually, though not always, performed with another person.  If done in solitary, a kink is usually seen as a form of auto-eroticism.  Kinks done by two or more people would include things like spankings, tying up a partner, S/m activities, orgasm control, and the like.

Kinks build up relationship between two (or potentially) more people, and heighten the play between them.  Kinks, in the BDSM world, are regulated under the codes of SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).

Now we move to "fetish".  There is certainly overlap between kinks and fetishes, but there is an important difference.  Whereas a kink is something done to enhance a playtime between people, a fetish in some way replaces the eroticism with an object, a ritual or even a particular person.  Usually, though, the subject of the fetish is some kind of object.

 Different from a kink, which is an enjoyable act between people, the fetishist cannot attain sexual arousal without the object or ritual being performed.  It is the only door to their sexual desire.

 According to Wikipedia, which knows all ;) :

 "In a review of the files of all cases over a 20-year period which met criteria for non-transvestic fetishes in a teaching hospital, 48 cases were identified, and the objects of their fetishes included clothing (58.3%), rubber and rubber items (22.9%), footwear (14.6%), body parts (14.6%), leather jackets and vests, and leather items (10.4%), and soft materials and fabrics (6.3%) "

 In other words the fetishist cannot attain sexual arousal without a particular object seen and perhaps worshiped, or a particular body part (such as a foot, very common) available, or a particular type of clothing put on.  It is important to note that a fetish *replaces* what is considered normal means of sexual arousal, and now the fetishist cannot attain that arousal without the object of the fetish. 

This in and of itself is not considered to be problematic *unless* the person feels a sense of distress over the fetishsim.  At that point, psychiatric care is in order to diagnose the fetish and provide therapy to make the person feel happy and confident again.

 It is important to distinguish between these two in BDSM circles.  Kinks are enjoyable and fully consensual, but a fetish *may* allow a person to have an undesirable level of control over another.  With consent, the fetish can be a giving over of one's sexuality to their Dominant -- the Dom/me controls the time and place that the object is available, thus controlling the sexual responses of the submissive/slave.  However, it should be obvious that this can also be exploited by a Dominant who is not fully ethical.  Care must be taken here, as the person can be seriously hurt and exploited.

Now we move to the final part of this discussion, paraphilias.  A paraphilia is a fetishism that is taken to an extreme.   The person with a paraphilia has the same issue as the fetishist -- that is, they can't respond sexually without the object in question.  However, in this case the person feels "undue distress and the activity can cause serious problems for him/her and people involved."

A person with a paraphilia may spend all their time obsessed with their fetish, to the removal of friends, family and normal life.  Or, if they see the fetishistic object, they will instantly be attracted to it in a rather bad, often embarrassing way.

I am reminded of an article I read in a woman's magazine many years ago ( I think Cosmo) in which a woman related a story.  She was going on a date with a fellow, and he came to her place a bit early.  She said to sit in the living room while she finished doing her makeup.  When she came out the bathroom ten minutes or so later, she found him in her closet in a fetal position, kissing and licking her high heeled boot.  She couldn't get him to get up and finally had to call the police.   THAT is a paraphilia, not a simple fetish! 

Paraphilias have no place in the BDSM world.  A person with such a condition MUST seek treatment for it.  There is no ethical way that a person with such a condition can safely perform BDSM acts.  If you see or meet a person who is totally obsessed with an act or a certain object, that is NOT a person who should be considered for even simple playtime.  

SSC and RACK cannot be considered here in any way.  Take GREAT care with such a person to dissuade them from any acts and hopefully to seek treatment.

I hope that this blog was helpful in understanding the areas where kinks, fetishes and paraphilias are similar in some regards, but quite different in many others.  Understanding what a person is dealing with when doing a scene with a person will help with a safe scene, or ending a scene as necessary.

Kink and Romance

 A topic that really fascinates me concerning the BDSM scene in SL is the push for collaring and relationship that so many people are looking for.  This seems to be the overall goal in any SL D/s relationship.

My experience in First Life, and Your Mileage may Vary, is that the majority of people in the BDSM scene are not into a real D/s relationship, but are S/M kinksters that are looking for a scene in a club that ends after the hour they spend doing nasty, kinky things.  In SL, while some of that certainly exists, what I see is mostly people are looking to get a kinky but romantic relationship going.

My opinion is that this is a function of the real, human need to connect in a romantic and sexual way to at least one other person.  Due to the fact that SL has no tactile response, unless one mirrors an S/M scene during one in SL, a topic I'll deal with in the future, the way we do a scene in SL is really "theater of the mind."  

What I think this does is change the dynamic -- rather than kinksters getting together and doing nasty things with hands and toys, the disconnect of the tactile end up having us look for a more socio-emotional kind of connection.  Don't get me wrong, Theater of the Mind is fun and can create real experiences for people, but it's not the same as having a real had smack one's backside or a violet wand zapping one's skin.  

So what I see is that kinky romance, and the desire for that socio-emotional connection, largely displaces the kinky kind of temporary S/M scenes that are so common in the kind of kink stuff I do in First Life.  This is fine, it is after all Second Life and should not be the same as, or mirror on a 1:1 basis the kind of stuff we do in First Life.  

I do think, though, that this tends to change expectations from real BDSM in many cases to a sort of "romance with some spanks and a Master" kind of thing.  While that is perfectly valid for SL I wonder if there is some mental disconnect that occurs for people if they try to go into First Life BDSM.  I now teach a workshop at Xaara on "Moving to First Life BDSM" that explains differences, what to expect when one goes to a club, and how First Life BDSM presents a lot of rather different experiences to people that go into it.  I hope that helps to temper some of the expectation -- going to a club to find one's true Dom/me or Sub is probably not gonna happen, but finding someone to spank or be spanked by, much more likely!

Thoughts? 

-V